Saturday, November 21, 2009

Publican Again

The dingaling knuckleheads over at have trotted out their latest scripture du jour designed to be taken out of context and hatefully applied to President Obama. This time it’s Psalm 109:8, "Let his days be few; and let another take his office."

Odd, just six verses earlier in the same psalm one can imagine President Obama crying out to God against his decriers. Psalm 108:2: “For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful are opened against me: they have spoken against me with a lying tongue. They compassed me about also with words of hatred; and fought against me without a cause.”

If splitting and splicing Scripture is the game, two can play.

The Bible clearly and specifically describes Republicans. Really. In great and gory detail, actually.

In the days of Christ the publicans performed the functions of tax collection and supplying the Roman legions. Because they took money and used it to provide for the enemy, they were generally detested. To publican the people was bad enough; but to re-publican, to do it again, meant that you really enjoyed taking all the money and cared not that you were despised of men.

Now let us turn to Luke 18:2-10 and employ the yada yada magic of ellipses and you will see it clearly written: “There…publican.” Following an elliptical collision we apply a monosyllabic division, so that it reads: “The republican.” From there we can combine it with any number of scriptures and reveal Biblical truth.

Dovetail Luke 18:2-10 with Psalm 73:8-9 and it reads: “The republican are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression; they speak loftily. They set their mouths against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth.”

Luke 18:2-10 together with Psalm 107:27 and 1 Samuel 25:22. "The republican reeled and staggered like drunken men; he that pisseth against the wall.”

We really to need rise up and mash Luke 18:2-10 into Revelation 20:2 and pray that it proves prophetic: “He seized the republican, the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil, or Satan, and bound him for a thousand years.”