Saturday, November 8, 2014

Bank of America Sucks

Bank of America's crappy survey wouldn't allow me to copy and paste my most recent BOA nightmare into their crappy survey form, so I have to post it here and type the link because that's how the BOA shit show rolls.

I stopped in BOA in South Pasadena last Monday the third to cash a check.  The teller told me I was qualified for a rewards program and that I should really sit down with someone and look into it.  I didn’t have the time and went my way.

The next day I had to get some checks from my safety deposit box, and I wanted to talk to someone about getting a short term loan of 10 or 15k.  I sat down with Elaine who explained that BOA doesn’t offer personal loans, and that the best thing for me would be a line of credit against my house, which is fully paid.  We discussed it, and she said if I was interested in it I would have to meet with one of BOA’s loan/mortgage officers.  She explained that a meeting might be a sit down or might be over the phone, but that the BOA person would call ahead of time to confirm, and would tell me at that time if it would be over the phone.  Last year when I talked to Wells Fargo about a mortgage they scheduled a meeting with a mortgage guy who floats between several branches.  I just assumed BOA had a similar employee and I would have much preferred a sit down. I told Elaine I’d think about it and call her later in the day.

As I was leaving the bank the greeter Michelle stopped me and asked me if I was signed up for the rewards program.  I looked it over briefly and agreed to let her enroll me.  In retrospect I found it odd that Elaine never mentioned a word about it, especially given that one of the rewards was a very low interest rate for the first year and $200 for opening a line of credit—unless I misread the brochure Michelle gave me.

I thought about it throughout the day and decided to meet with the guy.  I called the bank a little after two.  After navigating your answering system to the South Pasadena branch, no one picked up.  It rang ten or twelve times until there was a recording stating that no one was available.  I called six or seven times and got no answer over the next hour and a half until someone finally answered the phone between three thirty and three forty five.  Why does no one answer the phone at the bank in the middle of the afternoon on a week day?  That’s a ridiculously horrible show.  Maybe you could take some of that bail out money you’ve got socked away and hire some help.

I scheduled a meeting for Thursday at three, and double checked with Elaine that I’d be receiving a confirmation call.

I had things to do Thursday, including a noon appointment elsewhere, and I kept waiting and checking for the confirmation call from BOA, which never came.  I was planning to walk the two miles from my house to the bank, and when at two o’clock I hadn’t heard from anyone, I decided to call the bank and find out what was up.  Except when I dialed the number, I got the same message that no one at the bank was available to answer the phone.  I tried calling FIVE more times between then and 3:03, by which time I had given up walking to the bank and the meeting altogether.  You need to pause here a moment and repeat that to youself:  I cannot call BOA in the middle of a business afternoon.  That is inexcusable.

A couple minutes later my phone rang.  It was Mark from BOA in Plano Texas.  I explained that I had been awaiting a confirmation call, about which he knew nothing.  I then asked him to call me back on another line.  I have a house phone and a cell phone, the house phone being more comfortable for longer conversations.  I furnished Elaine with my cell because that is where I receive messages, should he have made the confirmation call while I was with my other appointment, for example.

Now, are you ready for this?  Brace yourselves, because this is UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!  Mark was unable to call me back on my house phone.  He was only able to dial the number Elaine provided him.  Take a moment and digest that.  IT IS 2014!  You don’t have that technology to dial a different phone number?  Holy crap!

By then I was so irate that I told Mark I was no longer interested and terminated our call.  This is not the exception for BOA, this is the norm.  BOA has treated me like shit almost since day one.  One of the great mysteries of my life is how in 2006, when I was collecting unemployment, the state of Florida got the routing number to my checking account.  I’ve never given it to ANYONE.  Not once.  Not EVER.  I had specifically requested a check and was awaiting a check when money started mysteriously appearing in my checking account.  That triggered a direct deposit fee in my checking account that I didn’t notice for several months and suffered much aggravation correcting.  That’s just one of many of your greatest hits.

BOA simply sucks.  You cannot receive calls during the afternoon at my local branch (go ahead, call for yourself and see) and your offices in Plano use phones that cannot dial more than one number, then you want the information to my house to extend me a line of credit.  Don’t think BOA being fined heavily for forging documents to illegally foreclose on homes was forgotten by me.  That was evil. 

And now the cherry on the sundae.  After putting me through yet another BOA nightmare, I took about an hour writing out the nightmare in all its long and excruciating detail.  BOA then sent me a survey, and when I reached the point of the survey where I could explain myself, I tried to copy and paste it into the form only to be met with an error message informing me that BOA has disabled that feature for the website.  So now, after putting me through this nightmare, BOA comes and asks me about the nightmare, and then insists I  prolong the nightmare by forcing me to spend ANOTHER hour re typing the 2 1/2 pages into their form.  I had no interest in re living the nightmare by retyping the nightmare so I posted it here.  The arrogance and utter disregard for me, my my time and my money is staggering.  

I just checked and as of this moment, Friday night the 14th no one at BOA has read this blog.  I know because it has received ZERO hits.  I filled out the survey including the link to this blog on Monday morning the eleventh.  Nor have I heard from anyone at BOA about the line of credit, my botched appointment with Mark nor acknowledged that I took the time to respond to their survey.  Just when you think BOA couldn't suck any more BOA steps up and remarkably out sucks itself.  Just incredible.

How much would you pay a consultant for all this info?  How about kicking me half that fee? You could call it aggravation pay.

All banks suck, but BOA just uniquely sucks to the nth degree, and I seriously need to start looking for a less shitty bank.

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